


Bad Things

by jihahwang



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, F/F, Rating May Change, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-09-27 12:45:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10021325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jihahwang/pseuds/jihahwang
Summary: Holtzmann took staggering steps as she walked away from the body she saw before. It was a familiar face and she knew that person. How can she not know the identity of the unmoving body on the floor? The body belonged to someone she adored and loved; her mother.





	1. "I'm not your responsibility or whatsoever"

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this story was inspired while I was listening to a song with the same title; "Bad Things," by MGK & Camila Cabello. I love that song so much and somehow I feel like it clicked with my story. So, hopefully you guys will enjoy reading this! ^_^

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

_Holtzmann took staggering steps as she walked away from the body she saw before. It was a familiar face and she knew that person. How can she not know the identity of the unmoving body on the floor? The body belonged to someone she adored and loved; her **mother** ._

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

When Holtzmann woke up, she realised she wasn't in her room. Craning her neck around, the room's surrounding was too clean unlike hers. Slowly bringing her body up into a sitting position, she groaned at the aching her entire body felt.

 

“Fuck, where am I?” She yawned unlady-like when another person appeared.

 

“You’re in my room, Holtzmann.” That voice was familiar to her ears and she instantly recognised who that person was and whose house she's currently at.

 

“Erin.”

 

The said lady smiled slightly and moved closer hesitantly. Crossing her arms, she timidly asked if Holtzmann was feeling better.

 

“Kinda okay,” was her only reply.

 

Then Erin excused herself and told Holtzmann that she could clean herself up in the bathroom across the bedroom. She had already placed new towel and new clothes for Holtz to wear.

 

Upon hearing that, Holtz said her thanks and went to have a shower while Erin left her to make breakfast for both of them.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

After the shocking reunion she had with Erin, Holtzmann contemplated if she should actually get out of the bathroom. She knew Erin’s curiosity would make her ask questions that she wanted to avoid immensely. But she knew she had to go out either way. Giving herself a short pep talk, she finally went out and walked to where the smell of food came.

 

There she saw Erin pouring black coffee, her favourite, into one cup while the other cup was filled with coffee. Erin somehow sensed another presence and looked up from her task. Another smile was thrown at her and she reflexively returned the smile back.

 

“Come and have breakfast with me. I haven't done any grocery shopping. So, I could only afford to make scrambled eggs for us. You good with this?” Nervously Erin rambling her words.

 

She finally relaxed once she heard the assurance from Holtzmann that she was alright with this simple preparation of breakfast. They sat on the chairs around the small dining table and silently ate.

 

Erin was thinking of words to say but wasn’t sure if it would be alright to talk. Holtzmann seemed to be avoiding any kind of conversation by focusing on the food in front of her. She didn’t lift her head up even once. Clearly indicated what Erin had in mind. Still, the awkwardness filling in the silence was quite suffocating and she really need to get her curiosity fulfill.

 

“So...why did you come here last night?”

 

There it was. The question that Holtzmann dreaded to answer. Taking a deep breath, she dared to look up.

 

“Why what? I was drunk. Simple as that, Erin.” As casual as possible she hoped her response sounded.

 

Erin’s eyebrow rose slightly. “Drunk? You didn't even smell like alcohol at all, I'm sure you aware of it.”

 

Sighing in exasperation, Holtz closed her eyes. “Look, you don't need to look after me anymore. I'm not your responsibility or whatsoever. So, let's just leave it at that.”

 

Holtzmann stood up and went inside Erin’s bedroom to grab her stuff. When she tried to leave the apartment, Erin grabbed her hand gently; stopping her from leaving.

 

“Jillian….please talk to me.” Her voice sounded desperate yet Holtzmann knew she could never put Erin in danger.

 

Turning her head slightly, Holtzmann’s eyes met Erin’s. “I'm sorry.”

 

Then she took another steps with tears threatening to fall and disappear. While Erin’s eyes were filled with tears that she didn’t even realise she was crying.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Driving away from Erin’s apartment, Holtzmann scolded herself for her stupidity. Her head must've been so unclear that she ended up at Erin’s place last night. She hated herself for being so weak to let this happen. As she entertaining her own thoughts, her phone went off.

 

“Where the fuck are you?” Holtzmann’s friend questioned without bothering to even say hi.

 

“I ended up on some place I don't know.” She lied because she knew that if her friend discovered the truth, she would be fried.

 

“You'd better not lying to me, Holtzmann.” And the line was disconnected.

 

Holtz threw her phone on the passenger's seat and accelerated to her next destination.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“I've told you many times that you have to be here as soon as you've done with your task.” A stern voice was quick to scold Holtzmann as she finally arrived at the place they called as their ‘spot’ to discuss.

 

“Well, hello Abby. Thank you for your concern but I don't fucking need it.” Holtzmann quickly walked up the stairs to a room that ended up being her very own small home.

 

Abby followed her and once again spoke her frustration. “What you did could've risk our job on the line.”

 

“I did the task. What more do you want from me Abby? I've done everything you wanted, _everything_. What else you want me to do?!” Holtzmann’s voice went louder and higher as she, herself, getting frustrated from the demands.

 

She, however, regretted her actions when she saw the hurt in Abby’s eyes. Both she and Abby know why they need to do their _tasks_ as quick as lightning and as how the rules played out for them. They have no choice but to stay alert with their surrounding. Any slight slip up could cause their own lives--and nobody wants that.

 

“I'm sorry Abby. I'm just so tired and my head is hazy and shit. I can't think. Can we talk later?” Holtzmann looked at Abby in desperate plea. Nodding her head in understanding, Abby left Holtzmann to let her rest her body.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“How was it?”

 

Holtzmann turned her head at Abby’s voice. She was in the kitchen at their hideout (sort of) drinking some water. Her throat was sore and her body felt weak from dehydration as well as from completing her job yesterday.

 

Instead of answering with words, she replied with a shrug. Abby clearly wasn’t satisfied at her response from the look on her face.

 

“Holtz, you can't do this. I need to know what happened and everything. I have to give _them_ full report for our shitty tasks. I have time limit to do so too. So, you bette-”

 

“What do you want me to say!? That it was a fine task?! Oh tell them that killing people seem to be my favourite hobby because it's fun, it's thrilling and it's fucking _ruining_ me! Tell them that, will ya!?” The glasses she was holding was thrown on the floor resulting it to be broken into pieces. Holtzmann’s face was red from rage and she was breathing fast to calm her speedy heart.

 

She knew it wasn't Abby’s fault that she's becoming this strict. It wasn't Abby’s choice. But after meeting with Erin this morning, all her thoughts jumbled up and she couldn’t stop feeling guilty for leaving her in wonder. It hit her hard to see how much Erin still care for her even after what she did.

 

Abby was shocked at the anger Holtzmann’s shown. The blondie has never gotten this angry. Not after she left Erin.

 

After a minute or so, she finally understood such attitude from Holtzmann. _Ah, that's about right then._

 

“You met Erin.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 


	2. "What the fuck am I even doing?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't proofread this chapter. So, if you have any question or found any typos or even sentences that don't make sense, please comment! I'll try to fix it. Thank you and enjoy reading! :)

* * *

 

 

 

Holtzmann’s face paled at the sudden statement from Abby. She wasn’t expecting her to be quick at connecting all the dots like this. Pretty sure she didn't say anything suspicious that may have hinted Abby to her whereabouts yesterday and this morning. 

 

Quickly regaining her composure, Holtzmann responded calmly although, her insides were screaming in anxious. “Why the sudden mentioning of her? I really have no idea what you’re claiming, Abby.”

 

Shrugging her shoulders, Holtzmann tried to walk away from Abby and casually added that she would send the report to them by herself--hoping Abby would take her bait and leave her alone for the time being regarding...Erin.

 

Abby’s a scientist for goodness sake, she knew what kind of trick Holtz was playing. Considering everything and how the task last night exhausted both of them, she would let this pass by. She nodded her head in agreement but her stare was intense when she looked into Holtzmann’s eyes. As if threatening the other woman not to run away when she bring this issue up again in the future. 

 

Understood completely, Holtzmann rushed upstairs to her room. Once inside, she closed the door and locked it. The sound of the door being locked was the only noise being heard as their hideout was quiet and still, with no one else around but Abby and her. Although she believed the pace of her heartbeat was maddeningly fast it could be heard all the way downstairs. 

 

Finally, her heart rate went normal and she moved from leaning against the door to lay on her single-size bed. With her eyes closed, her right hand reached inside her jeans right-front pocket and brought her phone out before dialing a number that she had no choice but to memorise. 

 

“Everything’s done the way you asked me to handle it.” Holtzmann spoke right away when the call was connected. But as soon as it was connected, the call was ended. She had done her job in reporting her completed task. 

 

Although Abby did say something about full report, the superior knew how Holtzmann operated and that not much needed to get out of her mouth. If she said she had done it exactly as she was told, then she really meant it. If she said something else instead, however only then they would interrogate her to know more in-depth of the situation. But she rarely did the reporting thing, she left it to Abby to do it for her. Thankfully Abby didn’t complain and quite willingly doing it.

 

Taking a deep breath, Holtzmann looked up at the ceiling. She stared at it for 30 minutes until her eyes grew tired of the whiteness above. Rolling her body slightly so that it faced on the left side of the room, Holtz thought to herself.

 

_ What the fuck am I even doing? _

 

 

* * *

  
  
  


A week after meeting up with Holtzmann and had her slept inside her house, Erin couldn’t stop herself for hoping to see the woman again. She missed her deeply. 

 

When Holtzmann somehow miraculously appeared before her apartment’s door, she wasn’t sure if her sleepy state has caused her mind to play trick on herself or she has finally gone crazy with all the calculations and experiments she conducted at her laboratory. 

 

Hearing her sweet voice however, woken her up and Erin took moment before realising that Holtzmann was indeed in front of her. It was the real Holtzmann.  _ Her  _ Holtzmann. 

 

She didn’t bother questioning when Holtzmann simply told her that she needed a surface to rest and dragged her body inside Erin’s apartment. If Erin didn’t stop her and steered Holtz towards her bedroom, the blonde was already on the floor ready to sleep.

 

As Erin tucked Holtzmann to sleep on her bed, her drowsiness has gone. She brought a chair beside the bed on the side where Holtzmann’s facing and sat on it. Sleep couldn't come to her and wouldn't come to her, not when Holtzmann sleeping before her eyes. 

 

All night long Erin spent staring at the sleeping blondie. She knew it was creepy of her but she didn't know if she would be able to see her again in the future. Might as well use this time to memorise once again every beautiful structure of Holtzmann’s face. 

 

“Erin.” 

 

A soft voice calling her out of her reverie. Looking up from the view she's seeing through the window glass of her office, she saw a worried face of her friend standing against the doorframe.

 

“Patty.” Erin smiled slightly at the tall woman. 

 

“I’ve knocked your door several times but you didn’t open and the door’s unlocked.” Patty explained her intrusion to Erin. She came closer and sit on one of the chairs in front of Erin’s working desk. 

 

“Sweetie, are you alright?” Patty cautiously asked. She had noticed how Erin been slightly out of the reality world and kept on spacing out this whole week. It really worried her and she’s been dying to ask but haven’t gotten the right timing to do so.

 

Erin shrugged her shoulders then sighing lowly before looking out the window again. She opened and closed her mouth couple of times to say something but nothing could come out. When she actually did speak, the first thing she said was, “Holtz came to my apartment last week.”

 

“Holtzmann? What did she want?” Judging from the tone of Patty’s voice, Erin knew her friend still held resentment towards her ex-lover. She couldn’t blame her for resenting Holtzmann. After all, Holtzmann did leave her stranded with no clear conscience of the reasons behind the break-up. 

 

Her question brought small giggle upon Erin’s lips. “She wanted to sleep on any surface.”

 

“She gone cray?” Patty was weirded out. She knew Holtzmann was crazy all along but wasn’t expecting her screws were all loosed like this. 

 

“No. She just want to sleep and I didn’t question it.”

 

“Wanna tell me what happen next morning? Wait...you two didn’t have sex that night, did you?” Erin’s blushing cheeks gave out the wrong ideas to Patty so, she quickly cleared it up. Shaking her head vigorously, Erin explained what happened and had to convince the tall lady several times that they didn’t have sex. 

 

After sunk in everything Erin told her, Patty nodded her head in slight confusion however. She found it weird that Holtzmann came to see Erin after telling her to scram out of her life. And the fact that she never tried to explain her choice of cutting off Erin from her life, was the most unexplainable thing for Patty. Deep down she firmly believed Holtzmann still harboured feelings to Erin but something stopped and held her back from continuing their relationship. 

 

Patty was about to question Erin further on Holtmann when Erin’s phone alarm went off to remind her of her next class to teach. She apologised to Patty as she had to excuse herself and halted the conversation they were having.  

 

Checking her wristwatch, Patty realised she also had a class to teach. Before leaving Erin’s office, she pulled her into her embrace. At the relaxation of Erin’s body and even returned the hug tightly, Patty sensed this was what she needed; support. She would’ve hugged even longer but they have responsibility to uphold.

 

“Everything will be alright one day, Erin.” Patty whispered into her ear before pulling away.   

  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  



	3. What Happened?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of a filler chapter. That's why the length is shorter. But I hope y'all like it either way. Enjoy reading! ^_^

* * *

 

 

 

_ Holtzmann recognised this place. _

 

 

 

_ It was her mother’s house. A house she grew up with affectionate and love. A place she always felt comfortable and safe as if no one could hurt her and her mother. It was warm, homey and simply everything and no other word in this world could describe her feelings for this modest house. _

 

 

 

_ Yet, this time it was different. _

 

 

 

_ No longer the warmth and safeness it gave out was obscure in this house. It felt cold and dusty, everything seemed darker than her memories preserved of this place. Everything has changed in the worst way anyone could imagine. _

 

 

 

**_What happened?_ ** _ Holtzmann thought to herself while taking in the differences it took. _

 

 

 

_ She went and had a tour of this familiar yet bizarre house. Her last tour ended up on the living room. And in the living room, there was no furniture except a presence of someone standing in the middle of the room. _

 

 

 

_ Smiling widely at the sight of her mother’s back, she rushed to her mother. But before she could get near, her mother stepped away from her and somehow, both of them were pulled from the living room to the outside. Again, her mother distanced herself from Holtz which brought confusion to her. _

 

 

 

_ “Mum, where are you going?” Holtzmann tried to reach and hold her mother’s hands. When suddenly those hands were pulled away before she could touch them. _

 

 

 

_ She looked up and saw her mother in front of her yet the distance grew further. Running as fast as she could, she wasn’t able to get to her mother. She screamed for her mother to stop walking away, to turn around and hold her in her warm embrace that she missed so dearly. Still, no matter how much energy she used for her legs and straining her voice, her mother wouldn’t stop. _

 

 

 

_ “Mum! Please wait for me! Mum!” _

 

 

 

_ “Mum!” _

 

 

 

 

* * *

  
  
  
  


 

 

“Mum!”

 

 

Holtzmann woke up from her nightmare and she sat up with her eyes opened and scared. Cold sweat ran over her skin and she was breathing heavily to calm down her heart. Suddenly, Abby entered her room with worried eyes. Upon witnessing the messy state Holtz was in, she immediately rushed to Holtzmann’s side.

 

 

 

As always whenever Holtz has nightmares, Abby would embrace her with such care and love to support and comfort her. However this time it surprised Abby when Holtz did something she never had done before; she cried into her embrace. And it wasn’t a small sobbing, it was loud and deeply painful to hear.

 

 

 

Hearing such hurtful wailing coming from Holtz brought tears to her eyes too. Abby let her cried until the crying woman stopped and fell asleep. Even then, Abby didn’t let her go and keep on hugging her throughout the night.

 

 

 

* * *

 


End file.
